Hi Mom, I Miss You!

My Sweet Mom, Mary

Today is Mother’s Day.  Like many of you, my Mom has passed on and I miss her.  Have you ever wished you would have done or said some things differently with regards to your Mom?  I would like to relate a story that I have been thinking about recently.

Mine was a happy childhood.  I lived in a home with loving parents and siblings.  Mom was a stay-at-home mother.  Mom and Dad decided that her being at home to raise us was more important than having lots of nice things. I am so grateful for that!

The biggest disaster we faced as a family was when my parents were involved in a severe car accident in 1963, when I was eight years old.  Dad and Mom when to dinner with some friends one night.  On their way home a front tire blew out on Dad’s car as he was making a 90 degree turn on a road.  He lost control and hit a concrete bridge.  Mom was thrown through the windshield, Dad was hit in the back of his head with a can of paint he had in the back of his station wagon.  He suffered a concussion and broken arm.  There was a couple with them.  One was practically unhurt and the other was hospitalized for several weeks due to his injuries.

I’ll never forget looking in a bag my grandparents brought home from the hospital the following morning.  I was so scared when I saw the blood-soaked clothing of my Mom’s.  She lost a lot of blood!  The day after the accident, my Grandfather took me to Dad’s car to get tools and belongings out of it.  I will never forget that scene.  There was blood and white paint everywhere.  My Mom’s side was the worse.  The windshield was covered with her blood and hair as she was thrown through the windshield and came back through it in return to her seat.  The tools and belongings we brought home that day were covered with blood and white paint.  (Back in those days, seatbelt’s and safely glass were not standard equipment on vehicles.)

It was over a week before we saw my parents.  They were hospitalized and Mom needed extensive surgery to reconstruct her face.  Her lower lip was practically torn off!  My grandparents tried to prepare us for their home-coming.  I was eager and scared at the same time for I didn’t know what to expect.  I just remember all that blood!  When they arrived, it was a devastating moment for all of us.  Dad was in a cast and the back of his head was stitched up from the paint can hitting his it and exploding.  However, my Mother’s face was filled with scars and red iodine where they stitched her face back together.  I remember running to hug Dad, but was afraid to approach Mom because of the way she looked.   That  hurt her so much.  I will never forget her pained look and tears for as long as I live.  As I look back in reflection I believe that she suffered more from that moment than from the accident itself.

Over time Mom healed very nicely.  Nothing could rob her of her beauty.  However, I don’t believe she knew that.  She spent rest her life covering up those faint scars and as I write this, my heart is sad that I never told her how beautiful she was.  She needed to hear that.  I wish I would have said, “Mom, you are so beautiful!”  I wish I would have ran and hugged her when she came home that day.   “Oh Mom, I am so sorry that I didn’t!”

I was the first one in my family to receive the Lord Jesus.  I was 17 years old.  After receiving the Lord, I shared with Dad and Mom and they were not convinced they needed what I had.  I’ll never forget after a refusal to hear what I had to say, I went out in the backyard, looked up at the stars, and cried out to God for their salvation.  Many years passed, but the Lord was faithful.  They both were saved and I was privileged to baptize them in a pond at their home in the later years of their lives.

One day I were told that Mom had lung cancer and needed surgery.  She went through surgery and everything seemed fine…for a while.   Later the doctors discovered that the cancer spread to both kidneys.  The doctors said that there was nothing they could really do at that point.  Mom decided to not try anything else.  She just asked to be kept comfortable as the disease progressed.   I was with her when the doctor gave her the news and was inwardly heartbroken that Mom had to get this news.  I was shocked and numb at the same time.  All I  could do, with the rest of my family, was to remain upbeat and just love her.

On Thanksgiving that year, Sandy and I visited Mom and Dad and it was then that I decided to say with her until her departure.  She needed me and I needed to be with her.  I stayed with her night and day.  I remember sleeping on the living room floor with a baby monitor listening to her breathing and always ready to go to here aide if she needed me.  I was her “pain-controller.”  I administered her pain medication to keep her comfortable.   My eldest sister later joined me to care for her intimate needs.

Mom lived through her birthday on January 27th and passed at 3:00AM the next morning.  She passed into eternity while I was reading Psalms to her.  Why do I tell you these two stories about my Mom?  One was something I regret the other was something I did right.  I regret not running to Mom that day and hugging her.  I feel great honor that I was with her when she passed away.  It was one of my most memorable moments with Mom.  She with me as I grew in her womb.  She suffered the pain of my birth.  She served me day and night until I married.  She worried about me all time, as she did my siblings.  I wanted to be there for her when she needed me most.  And by God’s grace I could serve her, full-time, for the last 7 plus weeks of her life.  I am so blessed to have had the opportunity and honor.  She was there when I came into this world and I was there when she left.

I miss my Mom.  I miss her looks, her voice, her phone calls, her cooking, her touch, her love.  If your Mom is still alive, go to her.  Call her.  Spend time with her.  She is worthy of your love and attention.  I just wish I could go see Mom today.  I’d take her some flowers, give her a great big hug, and tell her one more time, “Mom, I love you, you are so beautiful!”





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